idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
that may or may not have been my penis.
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