i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I think I am morally bankrupt
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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