she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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