We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
