its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
