I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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