how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
