you lied. pity sex is amazing.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
