Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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