i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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