Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
