So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
