He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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