I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
