I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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