You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
