Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My feet surprised me
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
