THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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