idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize