so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
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