So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
