I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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