I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
