birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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