I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
