I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
