it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
