but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
