I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
