Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
