it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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