i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
