took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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