This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just high enough for therapy.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
