The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
