So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Randomize