His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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