We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The adults are the big ones right?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
