Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
