yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
