apparently the secret to your success is patron
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
