the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
