Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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