Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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