he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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