Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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