We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
