How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
