I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
