I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So much rum. So many feels.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
