Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
