My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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