K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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