halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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