In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
