I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
porn star boner night. come get it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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