he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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