nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
